Miami Vice (2006)

Qn: Where do you find FBI agents with nice facial hair, powerful cars and kick-ass attitude? Ans: Only in the movies!

Hmmm. What do we have here? Yes? Did i hear someone say another oddball detective pairing? Well, not really. They are quite similar here. No Starsky & Hutch and no Jackie Chan & Chris Tucker. Cooler-than-cool is their middle name and they like to work and live on the edge. Welcome to the world of Det. James 'Sonny' Crockett & Det. Ricardo 'Rico' Tubbs. Welcome to Miami, and remember to rev up your ferraris.

The plot is actually quite long and a bit confusing if you don't pay attention. Basically, the 2 detectives, Sonny (Colin Farrell) and Rico (Jamie Foxx), are FBI agents. To bust a influential and big druglord, they must go undercover. We all know that going undercover is tough. Just ask Tony Leung. But hey these guys go undercover like its their part time job, slithering inside the organisation with ease. One particular interview scene even sees them turn the tables on the druglord. When they were being suspected, the 2 cooler-than-cool detectives pointed their fingers at the boss and asking whether was he working for the FBI! Their so confident that i burst out laughing (not in a bad sense). They are just too good to be true, isn't it?

And along the way, Sonny picks up Isabella (Gong Li). I need to confess. At first, I wanted to have this particular headline for this entry: Gong Li put a gong tao (hex) on me. However after watching I think I will stick to my boring line as above. Gong Li looked tired and kind of old in the show but nevertheless, she still have the curves. Just look at the sexy salsa dance she had with Sonny. (That son of a bitch haha just jealous)

The rest of the story is up to your imagination. You no need to be a rocket scientist to comprehend how the story is going to end. Bad editing and sound marred the movie. Maybe its MDA? Finally I got something to say about the Numb/Encore song that Miami Vice is using. This is to Chester Bennington and Jay Z respectively: Yes I feel numb and no I don't want an encore.
PS: To quote what Miss Scatterbrain said:" I think I have a good tolerance for bad movies." Kinda sums it all.
(3/5)

The Host (2006)

This is one unfriendly host

All right, i know what you guys are thinking about. All of you must be crucifying me by now. Thought number 1: "WHAT!?. He doesn't know what the title 'The Host' meant?!" and maybe,just maybe, thought number 2: "What took him so long to write another movie?" (I kinda hope you guys miss my reviews hAha)
First and foremost, i do understand what the title meant. The Host is actually a monster hosting some virus and not welcome-to-my-place-and make-yourself-at-home that kinda host.Capisci? Well, secondly, i'm not part of the Shaw brothers and i can't go for every single movie screening without paying. Hope I clarify your thoughts and CAN I JUST GET ON WITH THE MOVIE? THANKS!

Phew, that was a mouthful isn't it. I tell you, you don't know whats a mouthful until you see the bad ass host with mouthfuls of tender and salty (the sweat!) humans. Woah watching that big ass lizard gobbling up people makes me hungry. Really, how hungry can that thing get? I guess its metabolism is sky high. Or perhaps its those fat burning kickass swings that make it hungry? I don't know. Lets find out.

Me: Hi Mr. Host, how are you feeling today?
Host: Mind your gender boy. I'm a missus and i feel the same everyday; HUNGRY.

M: Erm... I'm sorry erm Ms. Host. Why are you always hungry?
H: (Sobbing) I've a story to tell that can answer your questions. I was once a lizard. I lived happily with my childhood sweetheart at a sewer near the Han River. One fine day, when my love was out hunting for flies, the sewer was suddenly filled with smoke. I thought it was the pest busters so i ignored it. Then out of a sudden, some acidic liquid burnt my skin! It was so painful that i passed out. When I came to, I discovered that I developed a long and huge tail. There are fins all over and I my mouth was full of teeth! I became bigger and I had this hunger pang. At the corner of my eye, I saw something moving. I immediately went for it. Little did i know that it was my sweetheart... (Burst out crying)

M: I'm sorry to hear that. My condolences. Did you know an American scientist caused this to happen? He poured chemical into the Han River and... (Interrupt by Ms.Host)

H: Of course I do! I wanna say a big FUCK YOU to him. Now the government is spraying all these nonsense chemical into the river, just to get rid of a virus. They claimed that I am a host of some virus just because some people developed some rashes when i touched them. Come on, its not because of me. Its because they don't observe personal hygiene! Virus my tail (she has no ass, thus tail)! There's no virus!

M: Wow. Now thats a piece of news. Anyway a man, Park Kang-du, claimed that his daughter is still alive even though you already capture her. I thought you always feel hungry? Why didn't you eat her?
H: Oh, you mean Park Hyun-seo? She's so adorable. I can't bear to eat her. Besides there's still so many bodies in my storage. I just want a companion.

M: Er ok. You intend to free her?
H: See how my mood goes.

M: Do you know that her father and family are going to the sewer to kill you and save her?
H: HAHA. Don't make me laugh. The stupid government has already cordoned of the area. Its like Area 51 now. They cannot get through. I feel like a princess living in a heavily guarded palace! Now the government is using the tax payers money on some stupid agent call Agent Yellow. Duh name.

M: Thanks Ms. Host thats all for today. Thank you for your valuable time!
H: Wait wait.. You looked kinda delicious too, besides, I'm kinda hungry now... (Smiles at me)

Then I started to run. You better run too.

(4/5)

Singapore Dreaming (2006)

Kah kin la, my review starting soon!

Singapore Dreaming is really a movie you can relate to.

What is your dream? Dreaming of becoming a footballer? An artist? It is good to have a vision in life, but can you afford to dream in this sunny island?

Singapore Dreaming is the second film by Colin Goh and Woo Yen Yen. Their first movie, Talking Cock the movie, was full of crude and slapstick jokes. Perhaps it was just the fun of filming a local movie then. However, this time round, things started to get more serious.

Why more serious? Perhaps its the cast the directors have assembled. And what an impressive cast it is. You got channel 8 veteran, Richard Low, Lim Yu Beng and one of Singapore's best MC, Alice Lim. Considering this is an independent film, the cast is pretty solid. (Of course, not forgetting Dick Su, Yeo Yann Yann and Serene Chan.)

Well, the story evolves around the Loh family. Pa (Richard Low) hates living in a HDB all his life. He yearns for a comfortable retirement. And he pins his hope on Seng (Dick Su), who just graduated from the States. Seng's study is paid for by Pa and his girlfriend, Irene (Serene Chan). Seng finally returns home after 2 years of education. Ma (Alice Lim) is delighted but Mei (Yeo Yann Yann) remains skeptical. (Ma apparently digs brewing liang teh for the family.)Rounding off is Lim Yu Beng who stars as C.K, Mei's Army regular turned insurance agent. One day, out of the blue, Pa strike the 2 million lottery pot. Is this a sign that finally they can live the Singapore dream?

A typical Singapore family isn't it? These characters are so real that midway through the movie you might find that they resemble your mother, father, uncle or even yourself. Well, I've got a soft spot for C.K. He is the character that has the ambition but instead decided to work for money. (A familiar case eh?) C.K is a character that sums up the movie. He dares to dream but eventually succumbs to his fate. Well, this is Singapore and dreaming is for losers.

4/5

Lucky Number Slevin (2006)

Goodkat, Bad dog.

Twists and turns galore as Lucky Number Slevin tries to be Pulp Fiction.

How many times have you encounter cases of mistaken identities? Not much for me. People move on after realising I'm not the person they thought I am. Slevin doesn't have that kind of luck. A case of mistaken identity throws him into a mob war. Wrong place, wrong number. Or is it?

The feud between The Boss (Morgan Freeman) and The Rabbi (Sir Ben Kingsley) reminds me of the eternal hostility of Romeo & Juliet. Although just a block away, tension runs so high that once either The Boss or The Rabbi leave their stronghold, they will be shot immediately. Capitalizing on the bad blood, Goodkat (Bruce Willis) offer to help the both of them to finish their unfinished business. How? Well of course I'm not telling you. Goodkat is a phantom character. You will never know which side he is on until the last moment. He is cool and sophisicated. A professional hitman.

Slevin (Josh Hartnett), on the other hand, is a bummer who just had a very unlucky day. And the day got worse when both The Boss and The Rabbi accuse him to be Nick Fisher. Plot thickens eh? Well you guys just have to catch the movie on your own. Can't reveal too much here. Don't want to spoil the mood.

Overall an interesting movie with a convoluted plot. However, it can cut down on the dialogue. Trying too hard and for a period of time I thought I was watching a comedy. Let's end this review with a clever dialogue rather than a corny one; "I bet it was that mouth that got you that nose. "
Well and I can say that :"I bet it was what you did that got you in this shit. Cheers, its Karma."

XXXx (3.5)

Click (2006)

Where the hell is rewind?!

Think Click as a Back To The Future with Kate Beckinsale.

Yes, Adam Sandler is back on the big screen and with a movie that might just teach you a lesson or two on life.

Sick with the different remote controls for different appliances, Michael Newman (Sandler) went on a trip to find a universal remote control. He stumbled into a store named BedBath and Beyond (you will know the reason for this name) and met Morty (Christopher Walken). Newman asked for a universal remote control but instead was given a remote control that controlled his universe.

So for the rest of the movie, Newman was playing with the remote until something grave happened. Sandler is still Sandler, acting out the role of Michael with ease. Kate Beckinsale finally provides the eye candy that is surprisingly missing for the last few Adam Sandler movies.

Not bad a movie, can be a bit better though. Just remember one thing, life is not about rewind, it is only about one mode of function- continuous play.
(3Xs = 3/5. I've got a new system)

Crazy Stone (2006)

Will the real crazy stone please stand up?

It is been a week since my last entry. As you might notice, there are not a lot of good movies for the past week (or should i say, those movies aren't my cup of tea). However, a certain movie stands out among the rest. Yes, its a chinese movie. Yes, it doesn't command a lot of time slots (only like 3 per day?) And yes, its Crazy Stone. (thats the name of the movie, not some reason i'm conjuring)

At the helm of the movie is 28 year old director, Ning Hao. And surprise surprise, Crazy Stone is his first movie! The movie certainly did not show any signs of inexperience from him. The pace is tight and the plot keeps the audience engaged. Ok, ok. I can see that you guys are dying to know the story. Just give me some more writing space to express my expertise. No? Ok here goes...

A very expensive piece of Jade was found and 3 groups want a piece of the action. Lets name the security party as B, the 3-crazy-robbers group as A and the professional thief master as C. B protects the jade and A and C want to steal the jade. A,B and C keep surveillance near the jade. C in a BMW (don't touch me. You will the meaning after watching) and A and B in a hotel. Coincidentally, A and B not only stay in the same hotel, they are neighbours. B has a hard job as both A and C take turns to steal the jade. B has to devise of a plan with limited resources.......

Still with me? I might not convey the whole story as accurrately as the main plot and sub plot intertwine like a vine. Go watch it. This is definitely worth the ticket price. The dialect itself is enough to justify the ticket price. I hereby lay my crazy balls for those who think this movie sucks, oops i mean crazy stones.

4.5/5

Hard Candy (2005)

Don't try to be too hard, it might be painful.
"Wah i think this movie is kinda disturbing." I overheard someone saying this after the end of this movie. And i was thinking, "Hmm, these guys haven't watch Irreversible yet!"

The story is like this: Girl meets man after hooking online for god knows how long. Girl follows man home. After a couple of cups of screwdrivers, someone gets knocked out. (Psst: Never drink something that someone mixes behind your back.)

Surprise suprise, its the man who is knocked out. Man is bound on a chair and let the games begin...

The movie picks up speed from here, twisting and turning with every close up scene. Leaving me in awe and keeping at the edge. Especially the surgical operation part. Damn! She is good. However be warned that this movie is full of dialogues. So if you are not the listening kind of person, i suggest you skip this and watch the bengish Long Hu Men instead. But i am sure that Hard Candy will leave your ball dangling, literally.

4/5

Nacho Libre (2006)

I am, I am, I think I am... a real religous man.

If you are wondering what that line is about, let me tell you. It is a line from a song in the movie. It is pretty catchy and i find myself humming it every 5 mins after leaving the theatre. Alright back to the movie proper. I like this movie because of three main reasons.
Reason number 1. This movie makes me laugh and i mean laugh hard enough. Though it is a pretty slapstick kind of humour. I enjoyed it. I laugh myself silly whenever i see Esqueleto, the guy with the high riding pants you see in the picture. He is totally hilarious, comical, amusing and blah blah blah. I'm running out of superlatives here.

Number 2. The underdog story. Well, i think i no need to explain the meaning. OK, OK. It's about Nacho's rise to fame to be the best wrestler. Something like that.

Number 3. 25/7 is a special day and i enjoyed it very much. Don't cha?

3.5/5

Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest (2006)

Jack is back, savvy?

Pirates 2 is back and bringing a whole new world of mystic and supernatural aura with it.

The cast remains intact, with Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightly and the crew reprising their original roles. Coming on board is Bill Nighly as the damned Davy Jones.

The story begins with a foiled wedding and both Elizabeth and Will being captured by the East India Trading Company for helping Capt. Jack Sparrow escape.
To free Elizabeth and himself from the gallows, Will has to get back the "faulty" and trusted compass Capt. Jack has been using. The compass supposedly holds the key to the sea and the EITC needs it to kill off piracy in the sea.

And so, Will set out on a journey to find Jack. Realising along the way that Davy Jones had a debt to settle with Jack and Davy Jones, though seeminly invincible, had a flaw that is waiting to be revealed.

Though lengthy, this movie has all the elements of a summer block buster hit. Full of action, laughter and impecable acting. Please note that as this is a 2 part movie, the ending will leave you with a sour taste. Do wait for the third instalment coming out next year. I can't really give ratings to half a movie, can I? Oh bugger...

4:30 (2006)

Two shadows sat side by side,
their souls seemed to intertwine.
Pain is hard for one to bear,
loneliness is hard for him to share.
Time for one to wake up,
time for one to sleep.
Zones might have differ,
but both hearts bleed the same.


This is Royston Tan latest movie. 4:30 is a follow up to the success of 15. Although both movies are numerically titled, the atmosphere of both movies are different. Gone are the graphic and loudness of 15. 4:30 is the complete opposite. Peaceful and tranquil.

The movie revolves around a boy, who at 4:30 am, peeping into his Korean tenant room. As days go by, he gets more attracted to his tenant and soon the tenant becomes a part of his daily life.

You might argue that the boy is a voyeur but to me he is just praying for someone he can turn to. The loneliness of the boy is hard to bear. The music and songs played are made for the movie, slow and tinged with sadness. This movie is a haunting one.

(4/5)

Silent Hill (2006)

Evil should always be this twisted.

Ok, this is not really a very new movie but oh well, continue reading if you don't want to miss a solid hellish movie.

Based on a successful video game, Silent Hill, the plot revolves around a mum and her seemingly disturbed daughter. Apparently, the daughter, Sharon, is sick and always sleepwalks. Sharon often murmured out a place called Silent Hill and our Rose, mummy knows best, decided to send her there and find some kind of 'cure'. (I don't understand it very well, as I did not play the game. Sorry guys.) Pardon me for being a nuisance. Why go there? Isn't Silent Hill a deserted, haunted town? Maybe the ripper can help, maybe just maybe.

Upon arriving at Silent Hill, damn its really quiet....., strange things started to happen and hell is unleashed whenver there's a siren. I am really fascinated by the siren, it is like our civil defence siren. Kinda annoying but extremely useful. So whenever you hear this siren, Silent Hill isn't silent anymore. No, or should i say it has become Silent Hell. This is the time when all the twisted, wicked mother f***ers come out to play. And it is also the time when i began to rub my hands with glee. There is Mr. Pyramid head (kinda kinky though haha), our lovable nurses doing a nicely choreograph Britney Spears dance and my favourite janitor, Mr. Colin. I love his taste for barb wires.

I will leave the rest for you guys. (Shhh its because i don't quite understand the ending haha.) Silent Hill is not a scary movie. It merely rips my skin off and nobody does it better than Mr. Pyramid

(4/5)

Scary Movie 4 (2006)

Only if you want to waste your $$$...

Another installment of the Scary Movie franchise, Scary Movie 4 continues to be the King of Parodies. Spoofing everything from Brokeback Mountain to War of the Worlds.

However this movie still pales in comparison with the previous Scary Movies (1 &2). The plot is too loose and the movie lacks flow. Humour is kind of low class and crude but hey, this is Scary Movie after all.

Do take note of the opening sequence featuring Shaq O'Neal and Dr. McGraw. And oh, don't forget the fake Micheal Jackson. That's really scary.

(2/5)

The Omen (2006)

666? Please call 999 instead.

Here comes the overly hyped show of the year, The Omen. It is a remake of the 1976 horror classic and it is released on, yup that's right, 6-6-06. I have to admit that the marketing gimmick of the movie is good, showing The Omen on 6-6-06, supposedly the end of the world.

This movie uses the usual sudden increase in volume and the sudden "hooded monsters". I was bored through out. In fact, I don't think this movie is worth writing for. It was HELL.

2/5

The Da Vinci Code (2006)

So dark the con of Ron

As the headline suggests, 'Ron' refers to Ron Howard, the director of this eagerly anticipated movie. And when i was typing 'the con of Ron' i certainly felt cheated.

This is the most anticipated film of the year. Millions had read the book. They love it. Religious groups had read the book. They loath it. You can see the impact of the book on us. Imagine what can a movie do. But sad to say, this film falls flat.

Howard tries to take the short way out. I was appalled when i see Tom Hanks decipher the anagrams by just looking at the sentences. Aren't there more trial and error? The entire scene at the Lourve seems fast fowarded and lacks the punch. Since its a some how like a scavenger hunt, there should be more excitement injected into it. The pacing of the movie is a bit slow and there seems to be no climax at all.

Well at least the cast is well essembled. Tom hanks looks himself (less the hair), Audrey Tautou is very lovable, Silas (Paul Bettany) loves S&M and last but not least we have Sir Ian Mckellen, the scene stealer.

All in all its a OK movie but if you are a fan of the book, prepare to be disappointed. And now we know why they cover the mouth of Mona Lisa in this poster. She is not smiling.

txq
3/5

Paradise Now (2005)

Will there be a paradise?

This film is about the last days of 2 Palestinian guys, Said and Khaled. Well this is no 25th hour (Spike Lee's movie), because we are not talking about just jail terms here. We are talking about their last days on earth.

Sick and tired but the 'occupation' of the Israelis, they are both 'chosen by god' for a suicide bombing in Tel Aviv. Seeing it as a chance to join God in paradise, they are overjoyed by it. However, things get out of hand when they reach the border and things get a little complicated. Both now have the chance to think whether carrying out the operation is good and whether the bombing will end the animosity between the Israelis and the Arabs.

I personally think this is a interesting movie, as it is a take on the Palestinian point of view. Like Munich, it forces you to think hard and again demonstrates that violence will not change anything. As for Said's point of view, he hopes his life will erase the wrong doing of his father and that God will lift them to paradise.

This Israel and Palestine conflict, from my view, can only be stop by peace. And peace, is paradise.

txq

Poseidon (2006)

Oh that sinking feeling...

I am going to try to make this review as exciting as possible.(I know i cannot) So hold your breath and let's go... "under the sea under the sea"

Poseidon is in a class of her own. Enormous, luxurious and enough safety boats to prevent a titanic 2. BUT this is a disaster show. The disaster is going to come so how. This time it is in the form of a tsunami. (Damn those script writers, they always have something up their sleeves.)

So there you have it, the ship capsizes and all hell break loose. See how Kurt Russell, Josh Lucas and others escape from the underwater hell. Well, for once, hell is freezing not burning.

Mission Impossibe 3 (2006)

Classic soundtrack, classic Cruise and classic mission.

Okay, after watching this show, i proclaimed that JJ Abrams is my favourite M.I director. He keeps the movie tight and tries to keep us LOST with Tom Cruise ALIAS Ethan Hunt being smash in the first scene. (Sorry folks, i have to include these 2 cult series.) When can you see the invincible Hunt being bash? I think a lot of people is thanking Abrams for that scene. HAHA.

Back to the story. Well this is a mindless summer block buster, so do not expect too much. After all this is mission impossibe, so try to digest the implausible. Hunt gets a call, off to the mission and safe the day. That is the typical routine in the M:I franchise. Throw in some twists and turns and some "awkward" sex scene in the hospital and the movie will get more interesting. A particular scene of Julia (Michelle Monaghan) giving CPR to Hunt is a reminiscence of LOST (Jack saving Charlie).

Oh i almost forgot about the eye candies of the show. Guys get ready to be mesmerised by Maggie Q and girls, you can choose between Cruise and newcomer Jonathan Rhys Meyers. Mature ladies, you can definitely go for Lawrence Fishburne. (Fishburne's every line sounds like Morpheus and that's sexy)

Gadgets? Checked. Eye candies? Checked. Mission? Checked. Movie tickets? Unchecked? What the hell are you waiting for? This message will self destruct in 5 seconds.

Election 2 (2006)

Do you honour your blood or money?

This is the sequel to the 2005 sleeper hit, Election. Johnnie To remains as the director and the characters are left untouch and the story picks up where it left.

2 years had passed and Lok's (Simon Yam) era as the Wo Shing Triad's boss is coming to an end. It is the time for another election. Of all candidates, Jimmy (Louis Koo) has the highest chance of being the next kingpin. However he is more interested in the business world than the secret society's internal struggle of power. Things change when Jimmy realise that if he is the triad boss of Wo Shing, the Chinese police will give him more leeway in his business in China. To be the next boss, Jimmy must fight against Lok, who wants to compete for a 2nd term. This is where things get nasty, as both sides began an all out war.

Johnnie To again uses human weaknesses in this film. The weakness over power and money. The lure of both is too hard to reject. Once someone possesses them, he will do anything to hold on to them. This is what happen to Lok in the first film and Jimmy in the second. One defining scene sees Jimmy hacked one of Lok's assistants into pieces and fed them to the dogs. Though brutal, the pure determination in Jimmy's eyes cannot be hidden. Just to get things done, just to prove a point and just to be the the boss. One particular scene shows wads of money stained with blood on the floor. What is the director trying to say? Money is earned the hard way. Blood shed is inevitable.

txq
4/5

Hostel (2005)

Moral of the story....?

To be honest, i wanted to watch this movie because of that name on the top left corner. That's right Quentin Tarantino. Although Hostel is not directed by him, it sure makes me pay attention.

Alright, to be honest, the first 40 mins of the show is pretty graphic. Graphic as in there are always boobies bouncing around. Wow it is almost soft porn. But behind every boob, there lies a booby trap. ( Corny, i know)

3 backpackers, Paxton, Josh and Oli, were on a backpacking vacation. Both Paxton and Oli wanted Josh to get laid but the innocent Josh kept pushing away their advances. Until one night when they were locked out of their own hostel, they met a guy who told them that girls at a Slovakian city are beautiful and they dig Americans. The guy showed them the pictures he took with them and my oh my, seeing is believing.

Without any thoughts they immediately headed to Slovakia and stayed in a hostel. True enough the girls were friendly and they finally got laid but like the old saying: there is no free f**k in this world.

The next moment, Josh woke up in a dirty old cell. Feet and hands chained to the chair. I think the following quote will help me explain better: "I always wanted to be a surgeon. But the boards would not pass me. Can you guess why? You see? So I went into business. But business is so boring. You buy things you sell them, you make money you spend money. What kind of life is that? A surgeon, he holds the very essence of life in his hands - your life. He touches it." Your guess is as good as mine. Josh is so dead.

The pretty babes are part of the organization and they act as the bait for unwilling backpackers. Josh and Oli are dead. Can Paxton survive? Catch it before the blood dries up... It is quite a mindless movie and i hope you can see the punt in the headline.
txq
3/5

Singapore GaGa

A video about the unsung heroes of Singapore.

This video, directed by Tan Pin Pin is a reflection of the unseen life in Singapore. These colourful characters are seen at nearly every corner of Singapore. Busking and enjoying their time.

But do we Singaporeans stop and enjoy their performance? The pace of our life is zooming so fast, that we forgot to stop and appreciate the very performance decipting Singapore life. Even with the advancement of our technology, our roots are not meant to be forgotten. Give them a chance to show you what life really is. And perhaps what one of the Miss Singapore finalist said was true: We are going so fast that we never stop and appreciate busking. I think we need speeding tickets to keep us in check."

txq